It doesn’t matter who we are, at some point, we’re going to rub someone the wrong way. It may be someone as remote as a telemarketer or grocery store clerk. Or someone close to us like a friend, coworker, neighbor, even a family member.

Often we find ourselves at odds with individuals over differences in personality, misunderstandings, or jealousy. When times like these hit, it’s easy to wear our hearts on our sleeves and become hurt or angry.

Recently, I had an individual attack my character and accuse me of motives that were just not true. I knew this individual had been under a great deal of stress and strain, and so tried to excuse the accusations. But that didn’t take away the sting of her words.

In situations like that, our tendencies are to either withdraw in tears or lash out in anger. Either way, Satan wins. That’s exactly what he’s after. To divide and conquer.

It’s easy to love those who are kind to us. It’s a much harder task to love those who dislike us or come against us. In Luke 6, Jesus set the bar pretty high when he said we’re not only to love those who love us, but we’re also to love our “enemies”. That doesn’t just refer to those who are opposed to our core beliefs or personhood, but also those we don’t necessarily click with, those who show animosity toward us or just plain don’t like us for some unknown reason.

Here’s what the Lord has been speaking to my heart when faced with hurtful encounters.

DUCK, DON’T COWER OR FIGHT BACK

The quickest way to end a disagreement isn’t to cower and let the other person pummel you with insults or to hit back with your words. Just as in the old Westerns, the best defense is to duck. Avoid the punch by removing yourself or holding your tongue.

Whenever Jesus was accused or criticized, He often remained silent or removed Himself from the situation. By not reacting, we defuse some of the other individual’s power over the situation.

GIVE YOURSELF TIME

When someone hurts or insults you, allow yourself time to process. Sometimes that means shedding a few tears, time alone with the Lord, spending time with a loved one, or doing something you enjoy. Hurt and anger are powerful emotions and not ones we can just shove aside, but taking time out to recoup your feelings can defuse some of the immediate reactions.

DON’T OVER INTERNALIZE

When we feel disliked by someone, too many times we fool ourselves into thinking everyone must view us as an unlikeable person. Discouragement is one of Satan’s favorite lies. When it hits, it’s time to stop overthinking the problem and start dwelling on the positives. Who are you blessed by? How has the Lord used you to bless someone else? When we count our blessings, negatively melts away.

PRAY & MEDITATE

The best armor we have is prayer and Scripture. We need to saturate our minds with God’s Word. Pray for peace, forgiveness, and guidance on how to handle the situation. Most importantly, we should pray for the other individual. Likely some stress, insecurity, or past hurt is fueling their behavior toward you. The Lord works through the prayers of His people. No amount of arguing or stating our opinion will penetrate someone’s mindset that is set against us. Only He can change a heart.

LOOK FOR TRUTH

Lastly, (and this may prove the hardest), examine your heart. Is there any truth in the person’s grievance? Whether the fault lies solely with the other person or we contributed to the problem, we can strive to learn from the experience so when confronted with a similar situation, we’ll better entrust it to the Lord, allowing Him to work in and through us.

TALES OF WOUNDED HEARTS 

Inspirational Historical Romance

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