Since September 24, I’ve been living every person’s nightmare. That was the day I learned, after only a few month following my previous year of cancer treatments, my cancer had not only resurfaced, but had progressed to Stage IV. Besides the original sight, cancer had spread to my lymph nodes and bones.
Upon hearing the news, my husband and I booked a cottage and just spent time together to grieve our news, pray, and ponder where to go from here. That venture was the best thing we could have done. It gave us time to absorb the blow and process the news.
PROCESSING HARD NEWS
Our initial numbness soon turned to shared tears, pleas for the Lord’s mercies, and refocusing. It’s difficult to describe the feeling of knowing death is knocking at your door far sooner than expected or wanted.
Acceptance of the news came far sooner than I anticipated. My only regrets were the thought of leaving my husband alone, not seeing my youngest son married, and not experiencing the joy of being a grandma. Everything else I was at peace with. The Lord had fulfilled my dream of being a published writer. And though, I longed for the opportunity to write more novels, I was content knowing the Lord had allowed me to use the gifts He’d given me for His glory.
OUR NEXT STEP
Following a number of doctor visits and tests (some of which varied from previous results), I started chemo pills and prayed the Lord would allow the treatment to work. We called upon our prayer warriors to cover us as well. Within a couple of weeks, I was noting progress (less pain, decreased mass size).
A visit to a reputable cancer center for a second opinion, assured us we were on the right track. The sobering news came when the doctor informed us I would likely need some form of chemo the rest of my life and that at some point, the present treatment would become ineffective.
But God is a God of miracles. And we are holding onto hope that He will bring complete healing. But if He chooses not to, that’s okay as well. I know where I’m going, and nothing in this world can compare. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I know Who holds tomorrow.
FRESH EYES TO SEE
This experience has given my husband and me fresh eyes to see the small blessings that are often overlooked in the busyness of life. That is a gift we hope to hold onto no matter how long or short of time we have together. None of us knows how long we will live, but we can make the choice to be thankful in the hard times as well as the good ones.
This Thanksgiving, may you see God’s blessing in the sunrises and sunsets, in the presence of family and friends, and in simply waking up to a new day. Those are gifts from our dear Father. They cost nothing, but mean everything. Most of all, may you know the blessing of Christ’s sacrificial love for you and cherish knowing God is in control!
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